"I'm Shan Boody and I enjoy talking about and consequently having sex."


I: What is a quote you live by?


S: There's two quotes that I live by. One that I made up myself, which is "I own it, they love it." It was something that I did for myself last year when I found that I was trying to do things the "right" way or the "good girl" way. Like being loyal, staying true to things that weren't really serving me, or even doing things the traditional way. And I was like, fuck it, I'm not happy, I'm not receiving success. And so, if I stopped waiting for people's permission and stopped waiting for people to give the thumbs up to what I was doing and just assumed whatever I do that comes out of a healthy place that's my own desires, they're going to love. So whatever I own, people will accept and love and so I don't worry about them anymore. I just worry about what it is I really want to do. My life turned around majorly with that thought process.

My favorite quote is a simple one: "In this life we all have trouble, when you worry you make it double. So don't worry, be happy!"


I: What is the number one killer of happiness?


S: Loyalty. I think loyalty is a concept that was passed down to keep people complacent. It says, "Stay by people just because they were there first," or, "Stay by things just because they were there first." Whether that be a job, a relationship, a partnership, or even family sometimes. So this notion that you are not a good person if you are removing the things that are harming you, I think stops a lot of people from breaking free and finding their true happiness.


I: What is one of the most heartwarming comments anyone has ever left on one of your videos?


S: The most heartwarming thing anyone can say, period, is, "I see myself clearer through you." What I'm very passionate about doing now is sharing with women, "Here's what's happening with your body." And not just on an anatomical, exterior level but, "Here are the hormones and chemicals that are going through you, here's why you are attracted to this kind of person, here's why you want the douchebag's attention even though you know it doesn't make you feel good." And breaking that science down for them so they can free themselves of that, and stop with all the guilt and the self hate. When I can give that to a woman, and she is like, "Oh my God, you completely allowed me to see this situation for what it is and now I can make a better decision." That just means the world to me, because that's the information I was dying for in my teens. So if I can give it to a young woman early on, that means a lot.

I: What is the most important thing you want people to understand about what you do?


S: It relates to everybody. A lot of people will say to me, "That's a really obscure or niche thing that you're doing." And I'm like, "I'm not studying the grout between hardwood floors." This is not something that 10% of the population can learn from. Every single person whether you're asexual or heterosexual or homosexual or multisexual or pansexual---it relates to you in some capacity. Because we're creatures who have two goals in mind, which are to survive and to procreate. And procreation is a massive motivator for why you do all that you do. So I want people to see themselves in every bit of work that I do, instead of thinking, "Well I'm not into that," or "I'm abstaining from sex right now," or "I'm married so it doesn't apply to me." It applies to everybody. But I also want people to understand how much better your life can be with sexual liberation. How much richer and fuller, and how pleasure can play such a massive role, not just in a selfish way, but in allowing you to give yourself to others. The pursuit of pleasure and making that a priority in your life. I hope to be an example of that to other people. I went on The View and I was talking about how I want other people to pursue a pleasure filled lifestyle. And one of the hosts turned on me and said, "I don't agree with what you promote, I don't agree with your message, that's a very selfish way of thinking. It's supposed to be about community and being for others." And I was like, "OK, but why is your pleasure negative? Why is your pleasure harmful? Why is it when you feel good, you think others are suffering?" And that's a very natural mentality for us to go to, that, "If I'm being fulfilled, then somebody else doesn't have enough. So I have to give my fulfillment to others." No. When you are fulfilled, you spill over onto other people. When you feel good, you can help others feel good. You're in a position of authority to educate others on how to receive and find fulfillment. I think the power of pleasure is something I want others to understand, no matter where you are on the sexual scale.


Shan Boodram is certified as a sexual educator and as a clinical sexologist. Her book LAID (Seal Press) was a Canadian bestseller, her social reach spans over 250k and her latest project as the host of MTV's Guide To Series garnered international press including the New York Times, The View and Esquire Magazine. 


Check out her YouTube channel here: https://www.youtube.com/user/shannontboodram

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